Sri Lankan Weddings

You are bound to come across many decorated cars this month as the June Bride’s take center stage! Like the rest of the world, June is a popular month for weddings in Sri Lanka. But unlike most Western countries, this is not because it’s the summer time [Sri Lanka has an amazing all-year-round summer], it’s because couples are given an auspicious time or ‘nakath’  for their wedding by an Astrologer, which most often falls in June.

There are many different types of weddings and traditions in Sri Lanka. Some follow the old traditions very carefully, some don’t follow them at all and some have a mixture of Sri Lankan, Western and their own unique traditions. One of the more unusual weddings I went to last year was a beach wedding where the Bride walked down the aisle to the Star Wars ‘Imperial March’ which is more commonly known as ‘that Darth Vadar soundtrack’ and had chocolate cake with mint icing in a jar instead of the usual fruity wedding cake!

Cake in a jar...! Genius!

All the traditions and rituals followed at a wedding depend mostly on the race and religion of the couple. If the Bride and Groom are of two different religions, they choose either one type of ceremony, have two separate ceremonies [this happens more than you would think!] or have a hybrid ceremony with traditions that stem from both religions.

There are four main types of weddings in Sri Lanka; the Buddhist ‘Poruwa’ ceremony, the Hindu ‘Vivaah Sanskar’, the Muslim ‘Nikkah’ and the Christian Church wedding.

The Buddhist ‘Poruwa’ Ceremony

Everything at this ceremony is done according to a specific auspicious time. Once they arrive, the Bride in a white saree and the groom in a ‘thum-pottiya’ [or a suit, if it’s a more modern wedding] they are escorted by drummers and Kandyan Dances to the ‘Poruwa’ which is a platform that is decorated with flowers.

A traditional Poruwa

A modern Poruwa ceremony

The Poruwa ceremony is conducted by a person called the ‘Ashtaka’ and the activities in the ceremony vary from one part of the country to the next. During the ceremony, betel leaves are offered in various ways for the protection of future generations and also in memory of past generations. The groom then gifts a necklace to the bride and they exchange rings. The Bride and Groom’s little fingers are then tied together in gold thread and ‘pirith pan’ or holy water is poured over it to symbolise the unity.  Then the ‘Jayamangala Gatha’ which is a Pali verse of Lord Buddha’s auspicious victories is sung.

Tying the little fingers together

The couple then steps down from the Poruwa together and a coconut is broken as a gesture to ward off evil spirits. They then place their signatures on the marriage registrar along with two witnesses, light the brass oil lamp, to symbolise a bright future together and cut the wedding cake. This is then followed by reception. The Bride then changes into a red sari and leaves the reception with the Groom.

The lighting of the lamp

The Hindu ‘Vivaah Sanskar’

The Hindu ceremony is very similar to the Poruwa ceremony in many ways and everything is done according to an auspicious time. A few weeks before the wedding day, the ‘Ponn Urukku’ ceremony takes place where the groom presents a gold coin to be melted and made into a Thaali – the Bridal Pendant.

The wedding commences when the Groom arrives and is welcomed by the Bride’s family and lead to the nuptial seat which is adorned with flowers after the two ladies perform ‘Aarathi’ to ward off the evil eye with banana wick lamps on a tray. The priest then performs a prayer before the Bride enters dressed in a coloured saree, adorned with a lot of jewelry and with flowers in her hair. Then the ‘Kannika Thanam’ is performed which is the act of giving away the Bride. Her parents indicate consent with symbolic gestures and the Groom’s parents then accept a gold coin to signify the acceptance of the Bride. Then the Thaali [necklace] is blessed by the Priest and the elders of the family and is presented to the Bride as the Groom welcomes her to the family. The Thaali ceremony, an important part of the Hindu wedding, is when the Groom ties the Thaali around the Bride’s neck and places a Kunkum-Pottu on her head as a shower of flowers blesses the couple and a coconut is cracked in half.

The couple then exchange garlands and the Priest and the close relatives of the couple bless them by showering them with rice, symbolising happiness, prosperity and fertility. Finally, the ceremony ends with the wedding feast or ‘Virunthupasaram’.

The couple exchanging garlands

The Muslim Nikah

The customs at a Muslim wedding differ from one community to the next. A few days before the wedding, a Mehendi ceremony takes place where the Groom’s family visits the Bride’s family and the women decorate their hands with Mehendi. The Bride’s family also make a gold necklace called the Shawadi before the wedding date.

Mehendi

The Nikah is done either at the Mosque or at the reception where the Groom and the father of the Bride register the marriage. The Groom then offers the Bride a ‘Mahr’ which is a gift [usually money or jewellery], puts the wedding ring on her finger and presents to her a gold chain [the Shawadi]. They then cut the wedding cake and sit down for a meal at the reception.

The Christian Church Wedding [in Sri Lanka]

In this marriage ceremony, the Bride, either in a white saree or a dress and wearing a veil is walked down the aisle usually to the sound of the wedding march by her father and is ‘given away’ to the groom who stands at the altar. The Priest then prays for the couple and reads out the vows that the couple agree to. The wedding rings which are blessed by the Priest are then exchanged and the Groom places a necklace on the Bride. They then register the marriage and walk down the aisle together. The reception usually takes place in a hall after the Church ceremony.

Walking her down the aisle

There are several traditions in all these different types of Sri Lankan Weddings that remain the same. Such as the Bride’s father ‘giving her away to the groom’. In Poruwa ceremonies and Vivaah Sanskar’s this is done when he places the Bride’s hand over the Groom’s. In the Nikah, it is when he signs the registry with the Groom and in the Church wedding it is when he walks her down the aisle. But the most ‘Sri Lankan’ feature in all these ceremonies is when the Groom presents a chain to the Bride and places it on her neck…